What is a Coach (and Why Would I Want One?)

 While many people have heard of coaching, few have a clear understanding of exactly what a coach is and does. This prevents people from getting appropriate support for life changes. As a coach the most common thing I hear from people is, “I’m not really sure what a coach does or how they could help me.” 

What is coaching?

Coaching is not the same as consulting nor the same as therapy, but it takes elements from each discipline to create its own unique method. A coach works with individuals who are focused on making changes in their lives. While a therapist may seek to diagnose and treat a client, coaches work under the assumption that their clients are whole, healthy individuals. Coaches ask thought-provoking questions that challenge clients. They create collaborative and individualized strategies, set goals, and keep the client focused on the future.

What happens when someone hires a coach?

While each coach has a unique style and approach, most expect clients to commit to working with them for a set period. This can vary from anywhere between 4-18 months – depending on the changes that the client intends to make. Some coaches meet with clients in person, but many hold coaching sessions over Zoom or the phone. During those sessions the coach will ask probing questions, serve as a sounding board, offer an outside perspective, help maintain motivation, provide strategies, set goals, and ensure accountability. 

What can a coach help with?

Coaches help individuals move forward. They guide business owners as they strategize for growth. They partner with professionals seeking to develop their career path, manage a workplace environment, launch a new business, or find work-life balance. They help students discover career aspirations and plan educational paths. Coaches offer support to individuals seeking to improve relationships, focus on their health and well-being, change their mindset, or alter habits. Essentially, coaches help people create change – even if they don’t quite know what that change is yet.

Is coaching right for me?

Not everyone is a great fit for coaching. Coaches typically like to partner with individuals who have a desire to learn and grow. Ideal clients make a commitment to changing and arrive with some level of motivation to make that change. Since it’s a collaborative process, it’s also important that the coach and the client have good chemistry and feel like the partnership is a good fit. 

At Bauman Consulting Group, we provide both individual and group coaching to help people achieve their personal and professional goals. Find out more at www.baumanconsultinggroup.com.

Extinguishing Energy Drainers

Since it is such a prevalent issue for many of our clients, in our last post we started a series about our top tips for managing overwhelm in your life (whether it’s at work or outside of work). In our previous post we talked about using a strategy called the “Daily Three”. If you haven’t read about this strategy – go back and take a read. But for those of you ready to move forward into our next strategy, we’re going to discuss how to extinguish energy drainers.

First, it will be helpful to define the energy drainers in your life.  These are things that deplete you and cause a noticeable difference in your mindset when you encounter them. Take some time to create a list of all the things in your life which are energy drainers for you. Is there a coworker in your office, a family member, or a friend that just zaps the energy from you? Or maybe there are certain tasks that bog you down like checking endless numbers of emails? Are you exhausted looking at your disorganized space or clutter? Are you surrounded by distractions or multitasking? Have you been putting off unfinished business that just needs to be resolved? Do you find yourself taking things personally and getting wrapped up in your head? Or maybe your energy is all going towards perfectionistic tendencies? Don’t edit your list – just write it all down. And be honest. Maybe you love and adore that friend who is an energy drainer. That’s ok! This is a list of things that deplete your energy, not things that you hate!

Our goal is now to help remove some of those energy drainers to help you get through this overwhelm. We’re not banishing them forever, just putting out the fire for the moment so you can get back to balance. Let’s get started!

Begin by eliminating anything you can easily say “no” to now. Can you cancel lunch with that friend? Can emails wait until tomorrow? Can you find a quiet space to work or locate some noise cancelling headphones? Once you’ve eliminated these items, mark them off of your list.

 What should be left behind are those items that are a bit more complicated to navigate. For example, is your office a cluttered mess? Or maybe you have so much laundry to catch up on you’re not sure how you’ll ever accomplish it? Are you spending so much time multitasking that you never seem to fully accomplish anything? Or do you have some unfinished projects that are just weighing you down? It’s time to make a plan.

Begin by categorizing these items if you can. Sometimes it helps to see how things are related. Many of our clients put them into five categories: relationships, work, home, finances, and well-being. You may find it helpful to further break these categories down depending on your overwhelm experience. For example, if your overwhelm is happening only at work (a rare occurrence as most overwhelm hits all parts of our lives) you may create categories based upon your work environment such as co-workers, projects, environment, organization, etc. Categorizing gives order and control to the situation – so categorize your energy drainers in any way that is meaningful to you. 

 Next, create a plan. What you can do to gain control over some of these energy drainers? Here are a few suggestions:

• Alert family, friends, or co-workers to your feeling of overwhelm. Explain that you need time alone to focus so you can come out of these feelings smoothly. Ask for support in your dedication to this effort and understanding in your need to step away temporarily.

• Set boundaries. Rather than stress over your finances, set clear parameters and stick to them. For example, tell your co-workers that you’ll go out to lunch with them on Fridays, but that you can’t go every day. 

• Set a timer for 30 minutes and devote uninterrupted time to organizing your space. While taking time away from your tasks may seem counterintuitive, you’ll likely work much more effectively in a tidier environment.

• Rather than multitasking on competing projects, time block your schedule. Set aside dedicated periods of time to tackle each task. During that time, you must focus on only the task you are scheduled to work on. No exceptions!

• Recognize self-defeating thoughts such as concerns about perfectionism. One of the best ways to do this is to write those thoughts down as they occur (“Sally’s report is always flawless, so I need to be sure mine is perfect too.”). Cross them out and replace them with less extreme thoughts (“Sally writes great reports. I do too. Reports are important, but no one really cares if they are perfect.”). 

Once you have decided how you’ll address each energy drainer on your list – it’s time to put it into action. Take one item at a time and progress through your plan until your energy has returned to equilibrium. Certainly you won’t be able to eliminate every energy drainer. That’s not the goal! The goal is to simply remove enough of them that you can regain your momentum and calm that overwhelm monster that is vying for your attention. Say goodbye to overwhelm, and remember this technique for the next time it rears its ugly head.

Eliminating Overwhelm with the Daily Three

Overwhelm is a constant for many of our clients. There are so many tasks that need to be accomplished – at work and away from work. Many of our clients report the sense of running on a treadmill. They’re running at top speed, but they never get anywhere. Overwhelm is common and normal, but it doesn’t have to continue. In the next several posts, we’re going to share some of the top tips for managing overwhelm in your life (whether it’s at work or outside of work). The first tip we’re going to share is how to eliminate overwhelm with the Daily Three.

The first step in tackling overwhelm is to prioritize your demands. That sounds relatively simple, but many of our clients will say, “It’s all important!” Maybe that’s true. But it’s likely not all important today. Let’s walk through how to prioritize your tasks.

First, get out a piece of paper, a pen, and a timer. Set the timer for 10-15 minutes (no less than 10, no more than 15). You choose your number. Then, during that time, you’re going to do a brain dump. Write down everything you have to do – all those things that are giving you a sense of overwhelm. No editing. No categorizing. Just dump it all out of your brain. Keep writing until the timer goes off.

Now, take a critical look at this list. Often, what we find is that individuals who are motivated, visionary types, will often take on other’s problems. These are things that you truly have no control over. So, go through your list from your journaling activity. Cross off anything that you truly can’t control. We can only control things that are internal to us. In other words, I can control my thoughts, feelings, and actions. But outside of that – I can’t control anything else! So, if these items are outside of your control, mark them off your list.

Next, consider if you have the ability to delegate any of these tasks to others. It’s ok to ask for help! If there is someone who can do something on your list for you - ask them to do it! And then mark it off your list. If there is anything else on the list that you can mark off (perhaps you don’t really need to do it or it’s just not that important), cross it off now.

Now your list is paired down to the items that you can control and that you want to accomplish. This is your overall list. Looking at that list may still be overwhelming. That’s ok. We’re not done!

Each day, you will select three items that take top priority for that day. Only three. Your Daily Three. These are three non-negotiables in your day. You must accomplish these three. Why only three? Because the reality is that things will come up during your day – phone calls, emails, sick kids, traffic, headaches, etc. Three is manageable. Three is memorable. And three is often not overwhelming.

After you’ve selected these three, order them based on priority. We recommend that you list the item you dread the most as your first item – this way you tackle it first, when you have the most amount of willpower in your day. Pick the easier task – or the one you enjoy the most – for the last item. Once you’ve ordered these three items, write these on a white board in your office, on a post-it note on your fridge, or in a note on your phone. We like to use the “Stickies” app on our computer to post our Daily Three to our desktop. Whatever method you choose is up to you. Just make sure that you can see these three items.

Now, get to work on those three items for today! And tomorrow, you’ll tackle another three items from your list. Each day you’ll be focusing on and prioritizing only three items – your Daily Three. 

It’s recommended that you engage in this brain dump to Daily Three practice at the start of each week (either Sunday evening or Monday morning – before you get started on your work!). You may find that doing this on Sunday evening even helps you sleep a little better that night. Give the Daily Three a try and come back to future blog posts to see some more tips on how to manage overwhelm in our lives.