What is The Daring Way™?

Avoidance of fear and things we dislike is only human. Our brains have wiring to seek pleasure and avoid pain. However, this avoidance can harm the person you want to be, the goals you want to achieve, and the relationships you want to establish. And there's the ever-present pressure to have it all "figured out."

What stands between you and those things you want? Is it fear, shame, or simply feeling unworthy?

To make new choices and create change in our lives, we must understand the obstacles that get in our way and how to conquer them. It means having courage and vulnerability. Many people will lock in on what they believe is right and stay the course, but it is much more common to feel unsure or try several paths before developing a sense of what is right. Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness; it is the bridge between your fears and what you truly want.

The Daring Way™ workshop through Bauman Consulting Group in Loveland, Ohio, helps you build the bridge. It helps participants recognize they are worthy of love and belonging no matter their path. It teaches us to acknowledge and utilize the power we have within ourselves.

The Daring Way™ is an empirically based training and certification program for helping professionals, based on the research of Dr. Brené Brown.* The work focuses on courage-building, shame resilience, and uncovering the power of vulnerability. The methodology is designed for individuals, couples, families, and groups.

The Daring Way™ workshop is for those who feel like they are not living their lives fully. Maybe they are afraid to present themselves with worries, such as an interview for their dream job, a crucial conversation with their partner, confronting life after a divorce, or a challenging relationship with a family member.

It is hard to show up for the scary things because we are afraid of what will happen if we fail or fall short of expectations. So, we avoid and then avoid some more. Then, as we get closer to the event, we start anticipating our negative self-talk voice: “Who do you think you are? Why do you think you'll be successful? Don't even try; you are sure to mess it up.”

The Daring Way™ gives us a method for working through issues that hold us back from accomplishing hard things, professionally and personally. Contact Bauman Consulting Group today to reserve your spot for one of our upcoming workshops at info@baumanconsultinggroup.com. Mention this article for 20% off the registration fee.

*The Daring Way - Brené Brown. https://brenebrown.com/thedaringway

Start Your Year Off Right - Living Your Values (Part 2)

Once you've developed your personal mission statement, it's time to move on to identifying your core values.

First, let's talk about why identifying your core values is so important. Many of us have a general sense of what we value in life - what we think is most important to us. But how many of us have made decisions that are in conflict with their values?

One of my clients was a busy professional with a husband and two children. She was adamant that she valued family more than anything, but when she began looking at the decisions she was making in the context of her values, she found she that she didn't seem to really "walk the walk." She was working 60+ hours a week, never took vacation time, missed most of her children's activities, and rarely spoke to her husband for more than a few moments each day. It seemed to me that her primary value was actually work. Now does that mean she didn't love her family? Not at all! It meant that she was pushing her values aside and wasn't being intentional about how she was living her life. She wasn't living a life in accordance with her personal mission and values. You may be in that trap too. So let's get looking at your values.

There are a lot of great ways to identify your values. Coaches have a number of ways they can do this with clients - and they can really help you to flesh out those values. One of the easiest ways to do this is to simply create a list. It can be difficult to list your values off the top of your head, so I like to begin with a list of common values and select ones that resonate with you. You can add to this list, search the internet for other common value lists, and brainstorm with others to complete your list. Take out your trusty notebook. Begin with the list below and write down any value that speaks to you. Remember to only write down values that truly are important to you, not values that you think should be important to you. It's important to be honest with yourself. (Click on the list to enlarge it!)

Adapted from W.R. Miller, J. C'de Baca, D.B. Matthews, and P.I. Wilbourne (2001) Personal Values Card Sort.

Are there other values that are important to you that are missing? Search the web. Talk to a trusted friend or family member. Examine your life. If there are missing values, add them to your list! Once you are finished, begin paring the list down until you've identified your top 10 values. You may even try to rank order those values. How do you feel about that list? How does it feel to see those values in writing? Does it reflect who you are? Adjust the list until you're really satisfied with it.

Now return to your personal mission statement. Does your personal mission statement fit with the values you identified? Is it in conflict with those values? Do you need to revise the mission statement or the values in order to have them align with each other? Spend some time reflecting on those questions and make sure that the two work together in a clear way. You may continue to revise and refine these as we work through the personal strategic planning process. That's ok! Completing your plan is a process, and the end product is going to be so helpful to you. You'll never go back to resolutions again!

This post is the second in a series of posts about personal strategic plans.

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Ashley Bauman, M.S., M.B.A., B.C.C. is the president of Bauman Consulting Group in Loveland, Ohio. She provides training, consulting, and coaching to criminal justice and social service professionals.

Start Your Year Off Right - Don't Make Resolutions! (Part 1)

As 2019 comes to a close, many of us will engage in the time honored tradition of making New Year's resolutions. We'll promise that this is the year to stop smoking, lose weight, exercise more, spend more time with family and friends, find a new job, get a promotion, tackle a new hobby, or finally engage in all those home improvement projects. Sadly, only 8% of us (according to Statistics Brain) will be successful in those resolutions.

Don't be a statistic. Don't make resolutions.

Wait. Did I just tell you to give up? Did I just say that you should live an unfulfilled life? No! I said don't make resolutions. This year, make a plan that will work - a personal strategic plan.

Most people want to change something in their lives, but they don't often think through how to go about making those changes. Making a life change as big as a career move or a lifestyle adjustment requires a thoughtful approach. It's a time consuming endeavor, but you'll get lasting results. And there is no better investment than investing in yourself and your happiness.

The first thing you have to do is identify what is most important to you - not the changes that you want to make, but what you hold most dear. This is your life's purpose, your hopes and dreams. It's about what you value most. You can't make a plan to go forward until you know where you want to be. 

Just as a company has a mission statement to guide its short- and long-term plans, creating a personal mission statement can help you to provide direction in your life. So grab a notebook, take out a pencil, and write down your answers to the following questions:

• Where do you want to see yourself in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years?

• What does that look like personally? Professionally? Spiritually?

• What do you want to accomplish? How do you want to make a difference?

• What do you need to be happy - truly happy?

Spend some time wrestling with these questions. Really mull them over. Sleep on it, and then mull them over some more. When you feel happy with your answers, try to take your answers and put them into a single statement. One sentence that sums it all up clearly and concisely. You want it to be simple enough that it can be flexible to grow with you and that it can be applied to all areas of your life.

You may find the template below useful to get you started.

"My purpose is to utilize ________ to accomplish/contribute to ________ in order to achieve _________."

You may also wish to see how some women leaders have crafted their own personal mission statements.

• Denise Morrison, CEO of the Campbell Soup Company - "To serve as a leader, live a balanced life, and apply ethical principles to make a significant difference."

• Katie Arnold, CEO of Talk Less, Say More - "To constantly be striving to be the best version of myself - in my job, with my health and fitness, with my relationships with family and friends, and with my emotional well-being."

• Amy Ziari, CEO of Pasta - "To live life with integrity and empathy, and be a positive force in the lives of others."

Take some time to reflect on the statement that you've written. Does it inspire you? Can you envision yourself leading a life that reflects your mission? Revise it until you are truly happy with it. It's going to be very important to you this year. This is the year you begin living your mission!

This post is the first in a series of posts about personal strategic plans.

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Ashley Bauman, M.S., M.B.A., B.C.C. is the president of Bauman Consulting Group in Loveland, Ohio. She provides training, consulting, and coaching to criminal justice and social service professionals.